This article is hard to write for me, because I have a lot of contradictory feelings when it comes to my EVS (European Voluntary Service). In one hand I have such a great time here in Poland, but on the other hand I also had a lot of rough times. 

Because, I think I was not “prepared” enough for the experience. Of course I knew that I would be intervening in a school, that I would be living with other young people from all over Europe etc, and I was surely happy about that. 

But the thing I’m speaking about is more about the “mental charges”. I didn’t come completely free in Poland. I came because I wanted, to travel, to live abroad, to meet new people… But I didn’t consider the things I had to fix before leaving my home country.

I realized this when I spoke with other volunteers who explained me that they hesitated for a year before coming in Poland, they took the time to be entirely sure about themselves, they took the time to be ready. 

That time of “mental and practical preparation” I didn’t take it. I applied one day from my couch and a month later I was in Poland. It led me to feel regrets about leaving my home so soon. Of course I didn’t want to have any regrets concerning my EVS.

But, the the thing is that when I was  working for the project (preparing classes for my students or writing for the different social networks), I didn’t feel a hundred percent involved in my job. I was doing it because I had to, not because I wanted to. I felt like a part of me was always somewhere else, thinking of what I could be achieving now if I would have stayed in France. Because, I left so many projects back in my country. Projects connected to dance, theater and social animation. I abandoned them without realizing how important they were for me. 

More than anything else for me, dealing with that kind of  feelings is complicated. Because I’m not used to be the “bad student” not connected to his work, I’m always very positive and involved in what I’m undertaking.

I’m used to be someone very dynamic and active, and here I didn’t feel myself like it. But it is also this dynamism that lose me sometimes, because if I was I little bit more more patient, I would have probably took more time to prepared that project.

Fortunately, here in Sosnowiec, I’m surrounded by very creative and full of energy people that inspires me a bit more everyday. So, of course I’m very grateful for that and today I do appreciate my life here and I love the fact of living abroad. 

I stick to this creativity strength that the project bring us, to keep moving forward and try to be as much as I can in the present, and not looking to the past. 

The more the project is advancing, the better I see everything all the things I get out of it. It took me time to see it, but In the project you can do whatever you want or create whatever you want. Now, I use this freedom to create things that I could also use for my other projects when I get back in France. 

For example I set up a new method of work with my students, the PBL (Project Based Learning) and I know that I will use this method again, maybe in my future job, maybe in some theater projects, let’s see… 

Today I stopped regretting  and I realized that this project is a great life lesson. Now, I’m able to see that it was not a waste of time at all. It teached me organization skills and above all patience. 

Thus, I’m very hopeful for the future, and excited about the new things I will learn. 

Keep moving forward <3